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| July 2004: Healing the Hurt: Grief, Loss and Teen Pregnancy |
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DC Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy is grateful to the cosponsors of this event: Capital Hospice, DC Department of Mental Health, National Conference for Community and Justice, TAPP/Washington Hospital Center, and the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing. Special thanks to the Church of the Epiphany, Advocates for Youth, Chevy Chase Bank, Region III DHHS Public Health Service, DC DOH State Center for Health Statistics and the Crime Analysis Office of the Metropolitan Police Department who made this roundtable possible. Program Setting the Stage by Cheryl Kravitz, National Conference for Community & Justice
A Closer Look, panel with:
Reources:
Presentation by Stephanie Handel, Wendt Center for Loss and Healing “We are more scared of living this life, than dying.” These are the words of teens who have participated in a Teen Traumatic Death Grief group I facilitate. These teens are able to connect with every teen death – whether it happened in a carcollision, house fire or by a gunmen’s bullet- it all feels close and challenges their ability to be a young person and maintain dreams of success, happiness and a future. They speak of their fathers, brothers, uncles and friends- killed over jackets, money, joning and disrespect. They grieve death, they grieve opportunity, they grieve safety, they grieve potential. Trauma and grief challenges and changes us. Trauma by its nature whether the result of abandonment, death or being victimized shatters the 5 core beliefs of individuals. The sense of safety, control, power, trust and self esteem become splintered affecting who we are and how we think, feel and behave. I use the metaphor of our bodies as a glass and a trauma as the rock which is thrown at the clean slate of glass within our bodies. The trauma rocks our core. It is this metaphor that continues to help me keep in perspective the lives of traumatized and grieving teens. The rock which can represent an imprisoned father, CPS involvement because of neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, a school shooting, a mother who dies of AIDS or breast cancer, stolen cars ending in deadly car collisions, nightly shootings and even the disempowerment as a human being because of class, race and assumptive intelligence. DC is like a hail storm leaving behind an often tattered and grief stricken community. Christopher, Walter, James, Eva, Jerod, Shawn, Nathan, Tita Marie, Nathaniel, Snoop, Arthur, Stephanie, Devin, Isaac, Marcus, Tinker – just a few of the names that have left behind bereaved teenagers. In a community where hopes and dreams of a future are stymied by the reality of statistics like the following: black men between 16-24 are at the highest risk for death by murder, schools not graduating nearly 25% of a senior class, cuts in employment programs or the average DC resident has a reading level of 8th grade- grief is pervasive. Vulnerability and high risk behavior thrives in the teen that feels disempowered, disregarded and unappreciated. I believe the heart of this matter is that teens in this compromised, fragile state will engage in risky behavior. Teen pregnancy, drinking and driving, smoking dope, having multiple sex partners, stealing, and the list goes on. We are missing the issue if we do not look at teens engaging in risky behavior as a coping means. All survivors struggle to cope with the effects of trauma and grief and must find a way to continue to live. To live whole lives while pieces of themselves remain missing. Female teens starved for love and attention are drawn to older men who prey on their vulnerability and make them feel special. Girls who are starved for unconditional love choose pregnancy to feed their need for acceptance and respect. Girls and boys who want to fill the gaping hole left behind by the death or loss of a loved one choose pregnancy because it is a false belief that attachment, emotional love and relationships can be replaced simply by bringing a child into the world. Boys who believe that early death seems to be their reality - leave behind a piece of themselves – a way almost of staying alive. DC teens choose pregnancy to feed their need not having a complete notion of what parenting is-but wanting to be competent in something and not wanting to feel the pain of their reality. It is critical to consider that most often when a teen is grieving he/she is operating in a family who is also grieving. A parent overwhelmed by their own grief, often has difficulty being attuned to the needs of the children, especially teens – who often have difficulty conveying their needs. The role of the family - cannot be left out of a conversation addressing teen grief- keeping the teen connected, inviting and normalizing grief for all individuals in the family- helps to not further isolate a teen in their grief. Helping teens grieve and focusing on building mastery and ego strengths helps solidify a base for making healthy and beneficial choices. A young person who is connected to community, valued by family, school and community is embraced into the notion of a valued self. An individual who is reared in a community that fosters the reality of a future, of success, of having a voice and having choice is far more in the position of taking advantage of what life has to offer as opposed to dismissing the possibility. There is a lot that we can do as a community to support each other and grieving teenagers:
In closing, I feel that I must pay homage to the teens of this community. It is our duty to help find a way to give all teens a reason to embrace life, embrace potential and believe in the possibility of personal greatness. To all those who have passed before us- ASHEI- Be with us, Join Us – for this conversation. Additional Note Regarding Adolescence: The Separation and Individuation process, a normal part of adolescent development, is a challenging time. The pieces of self are trying to find their place. For almost any teen it is a time of struggle to gain independence while maintaining ties to parent figures. This is a time of striving for the independence and respect of an adult, yet continuing to need the love and care like a child receives.
Participants
Cheryl R. Kravitz, APR, CFRE
10 G Street, NE #430 Cheryl Kravitz is Executive Director of The National Conference for Community and Justice, National Capital Area Region. The NCCJ, founded in 1927 as The National Conference of Christians and Jews, is a nonsectarian human relations organization dedicated to fighting bias, bigotry and racism through education, advocacy and conflict resolution. In this position, she oversees prejudice reduction programs for media, individuals, schools, police departments, businesses, labor unions, and associations in the entire Metropolitan Washington Area. She is also responsible for management of external relations, fundraising, volunteer development, and strategic planning. A survivor of domestic violence, Ms. Kravitz speaks and writes about her experience to help women who are currently being victimized and empower those who know them to assist through nonjudgmental support. Prior to joining NCCJ in 1992, Ms. Kravitz served at the national and local levels of The American Red Cross in Washington, DC and Oklahoma. She directed the Radio/Television Department at National Headquarters and also served as National Manager of Campaign Development. In Oklahoma she oversaw communications, fundraising and membership. During her 15 years at the Red Cross she received 40 local and national awards for her accomplishments in community relations and communications. Ms. Kravitz worked as a journalist in Chicago and Tulsa. In Chicago she was honored for her investigative reporting and in Oklahoma received awards for her column in The Tulsa Tribune. Currently, Ms. Kravitz contributes to The Washington Post, Washingtonian Magazine and others. She is the past Program Chair of Leadership Washington. She was just appointed to the new Special Education Advisory committee by the President of the Montgomery County Board of Education and is a member of the advisory boards of the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse and the Mass Mutual Women's Group. She has served on The National Education Association Commission on Urban Children, WUSA-TV's community board, was an elected member of The Board of Education in Tulsa and taught journalism there and in Chicago. Under her leadership, NCCJ was the 2002 winner of Leadership Washington's Community- Business Partnership award with The Washington Post. They received the award for the Building Bridges initiatives with media and prejudice reduction programs with youth.
Brigid Coles Guttmacher, MA, LPC Currently Brigid Coles Guttmacher, MA, LPC serves as the Community Outreach and Palliative Care Counselor of Capital Hospice (formally Hospice Care of DC) in Washington, DC. Ms. Guttmacher has nearly 20 years experience with hospice, as a volunteer and a clinician. Ms. Guttmacher’s counseling and clinical experience includes Hospice of the Champlain Valley, Colchester, VT; Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, Burlington, VT; Counseling Service of Addison County, Middlebury, VT; and Capital Hospice (formally Hospice Care of DC), Washington, DC. As Capital Hospice’s Washington DC Bereavement Coordinator for the past four years, Ms. Guttmacher provided support to family members and friends of hospice patients and members of the DC community after the death of a loved one. In her current position, Ms. Guttmacher focuses on community outreach, speaking on end-of-life issues to various groups as well as facilitating support groups for students in DC Public Schools after a crisis and long-term groups centered around issues of grief and loss. Ms. Guttmacher is a founding member of DC Children’s Grief and Loss Network, a public/private collaboration to provide services and resources to the DC community in learning to cope with life’s transitions. Ms. Guttmacher organizes Hospice Care of DC’s annual Tribute Lights: A Celebration of Life event, as well as staffing the Point of Hope Day Camps and weekend camp.
Stephanie Handel, MSW Stephanie Handel, MSW is a children’s grief therapist at the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing. Stephanie provides individual therapy and is the facilitator for a teen traumatic loss group and a co-victims of homicide children’s group. A member of the Wendt Center’s RECOVER team, Stephanie provides early intervention bereavement support and accompanies individuals and families during the identification process of a loved one at the DC medical examiner’s office. She was a mental health first responder at the Pentagon. Stephanie serves as the Director of Camp Forget-Me-Not, the Wendt Center’s 3 day grief camp for children who experienced a loss due to death. Currently, Stephanie is actively involved in research initiatives with the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. She has presented and published on topics of HIV/AIDS, children, 9/11, trauma, grief, loss and alternative interventions. WENDT CENTER FOR LOSS AND HEALING: The Wendt Center for Loss and Healing is the District of Columbia’s community expert in addressing grief, particularly grief in children. The mission of the Wendt Center is to provide direct services, education and advocacy to ease the impact of illness, loss and bereavement through respect for individuals and their experiences, an awareness of the pain of loss, and loyalty to people in times of illness and death.
Samantha Madhosingh, Psy.D. Through Ms. Madhosingh’s training, volunteer and professional experience, she has had the opportunity to work with individuals and families coping with issues related to grief and loss, trauma (violence in the home and community), PTSD symptoms, substance abuse and co-occurring disorders, serious mental illness, sexual identity, teen pregnancy and sexuality/sexual health. Ms. Madhosingh has done extensive research in trauma and related issues and was recently certified by The National Institute for Trauma and Loss in Children as a Trauma and Loss School Specialist and also a Trauma Consultant. She is also the President of the Advisory Board for the Thomas O’Farrell Youth Center in Maryland. Ms. Madhosingh’s current volunteer experience includes Pediatric Care (assisting children affected by or infected with HIV/AIDs) and the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing. Ms. Madhosingh is also a member of DC Children’s Grief and Loss Network and the Capital Area Crisis Response Team (CACRT). Ms. Madhosingh received her Doctorate of Professional Psychology from George Washington University.
Loral Patchen, CNM Loral Patchen, CNM, has been a faculty member in the Department of Women’s Services at the Washington Hospital Center since 1999. She provides bilingual full-scope midwifery services to women at two community-based health centers as well as through the hospital’s outpatient Women’s Services clinic. Ms. Patchen also provides clinical supervision and instruction to both residents and medical students, and works with the Director of the WHC Resident Program to provide resident education in adolescent health care. Ms. Patchen currently serves as the Director of the Teen Alliance for Prepared Parenting (TAPP) Program and the Center for Adolescent Women. The TAPP program provides obstetric, gynecologic, and family planning services to over 300 adolescents aged eighteen and under annually, as well as comprehensive youth development services. Since appointment as Director, the program has grown from one clinical site to three; lowered its clinical no-show rate by over fifty percent, and increased its funding base from $200K to $500K. Ms. Patchen received a nationally competitive five-year Federal grant awarded from DHHS, Office of Population Affairs for the TAPP Program in 2001. Ms. Patchen’s clinical experience also includes training in providing services for IV drug users, sex workers, and the homeless through mobile health care units. She has a special interest in prevention of sexually transmitted infections, and has published in the area of HIV and perinatal transmission. Prior to training as a nurse-midwife, Ms. Patchen worked in public health policy and research. At the Partnership for Child Health Care, her work included research on improving case management practices of non-formal practitioners for childhood illnesses in non-industrialized countries. In addition, Ms. Patchen worked for the Environmental Division at the World Bank, completing research in the area of social disarticulation with a focus on public health outcomes. Special populations considered included women, children, and refugees. Ms. Patchen’s field experience includes data collection for a National Institute of Health longitudinal study of chronic disease in Samoa, as well as work in Brazil, Western Samoa, and Fiji. Ms. Patchen served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Honduras from 1991 to 1993. Loral Patchen graduated with honors from Brown University in 1990 with an undergraduate degree in Portuguese and Brazilian Studies. She also has a Master’s degree in international economics from the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies and a Master’s degree in nursing from Yale University.
Bibliography
Childhood sexual abuse and loss: an overview of grief and its complications for survivors.
Journal: Moving Forward Vol 3, Number 2 Pages 1, 8-11. November 94
Authors: Fitzgerald, Helen; Lawrence, Lana R.
Abstract:
Peer survivors of adolescent suicide: perspectives on grieving and postvention.
Abstract:
Helping adolescents cope with the death of a peer: a high school case study.
Abstract:
Bereavement in late adolescence: interventions on college campuses.
Abstract
Positive outcomes of adolescents' experience with grief.
Abstract
Adolescent sibling bereavement symptomatology in a large community sample.
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Healing the Hurt roundtable raised questions as a way to bridge the knowledge gap between the apparently random acts of violence seen in Washington, DC, the behavior of teens directly and indirectly affected by grief and loss and the persistently high teen pregnancy rate.
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